Friday, November 28, 2008

yawn

Ok, I just can't help it. Why o why must you be so cute and lovable?!? And why are you wacky it just adds your cuteness. :O I just want to hug you, squish you, kiss you, and call you mine.  (FREAKY MUCH?!)

But no, I musn't.  Things shouldn't be that way.

Miranda, you may have a slight idea who this person is.  Haha :D

Thursday, November 27, 2008

AB vs BS

I am seriously getting uncomfortable and restless.  These past weeks have been rather boring and what else...disappointing.

I'm really not the person who gets all giddy when I do nothing in the group.  I'd rather do piles of work for a project rather than do nothing.  Seriously.  I'm not the freeloader type and I feel so useless when I don't get to contribute.  Ok, lemme rephrase that.  I also don't like doing all the work, but you know, I'd rather feel useful.

And oh, honestly, I HATE THE (too) LAIDBACK ATTITUDE.  I'd rather go study and panic over something than doodle.  I hate it when they look at me as if I'm sort of this nerd when I tell them I studied the required chapter.  A few months back, I might say that I love being carefree and all but I guess I only would have thought that because I was bombarded with various stressors. (ok whatta term)

AND I just despise people who are just so narrow-minded and empty.  Walang pakialam sa kahit ano.  Hell they're stuck inside their box they're not even familiar with because they ignore it anyway.

Well they're not all like that, just some of them are.  What's worse, I just can't shy away from them because...  

----------------------------

Hindi ako mayabang.  Hindi ko lang talaga kaya maging GANOON KATAMAD.

My other class is fun though, really friendly people and kinda OC too. :) And it's the right mix of OC :P

But my stat is rather liberating...solving is really tedious and I have no choice but to really work it out on my own because I can't consult with my classmates (I don't know them and they're a block). :P

Ugh why can't I think creatively anymore. so boring

It's weird when so much has happened in a span of 2 weeks whilst I can't even think of anything to say.

Okay, just lemme try.

Arra helped me with the Ycasiano (my in-laws) annual Xmas packing.  It's this thing where the Ycasiano family gets money donations from various donors to purchase different goodies to donate.  Each goodie bag typically includes 1 kilo of rice/sugar, soap, noodles, canned good, mask, stickers, clips for girls, toothbrush, toothpaste, powder, pencil, plastic toys, etc.  Usually Tita Agnes would try to think of "extra stuff" to put in the Xmas bag to make the kids feel extra special.  Like for example, before I think she included a raincoat in there.  She also put in headbands and colorful plastic toys as to diminish the image of a steoreotype relief bag.  She also demands that the mask or a specific toy should face the outside of the bag to make the kid smile when he/she sees it.  It's the little details that she's really proud of.  And I love it.  If I were the kid, I'd feel loved in a way.  Thinking that somebody really thought of giving me something out of the ordinary dole-out.  Tita Agnes even used to process the first 2,oo0 bags for girls and make us put in only the yellow and red toothbrushes.  When it was the second 2,000 batch already, we'd switch to the blue and green toothbrushes.  Hehe.  

This year though, with the international economic crisis and all, the quality of the goodie bag isn't that good anymore.  Gone are the canned goods, noodles and sugar.  No more headbands too.  But at least this year, they included slippers (yes, and cool colors too!), rosaries, sharpeners, notebooks, and medium sized soap bars.  The clips, pencils, masks, stickers, and toys are still there though; along with 1-peso snacks.  

Oh my gawd, if only you could have been there.  I think Arra didn't expect that much.  I swear, if you scattered all the mountains of stuff, you could swim in their house.  Ok scratch that.  You could dive and paddle your way around.  I'm not exagerrating.  Too bad I forgot to bring my camera, I could have shown you the REAL THING.  Haha.  Imagine 6,000 - YES SIX THOUSAND ITEMS PER "station".  Six thousand slippers in a corner, six thousand bars of soap in another, and a whole lot of other SIX THOUSANDS.  If you were there, you would never have thought that you'll finish EVERYTHING.  

The process is like an assembly line, pasahan talaga ng supot.  What's really tiring is, you can't stop once you sit down.  You'll get piled on and you just have to go on even if you feel like your spine is going to collapse or if you can't breathe anymore. :))

My whole body really ached dude. WAHAHA.  But the best feeling is accomplishing all that.  With that sacrifice, I think of all the 6,00o glad families. :)

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Tiki's debut during the night.  The program only lasted up to 10:30 so we had the dance floor till midnight. 

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

it's not yet over

Klein Sexual Orientation Grid


I scored an average of 1.95






01 2 3 4 5
6


HeterosexualBisexualHomosexual

Meaning

This result can also be related to the Kinsey Scale:


0 = exclusively heterosexual
1 = predominantly heterosexual, incidentally homosexual
2 = predominantly heterosexual, but more
than incidentally homosexual
3 = equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 = predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally
heterosexual
5 = predominantly homosexual, incidentally heterosexual
6 = exclusively homosexual

Summary


The idea of this excercise is to understand exactly how dynamic a person's sexual orientation can be, as well as how fluid it can be over a person's lifespan. While a person's number of actual homo/heterosexual encounters may be easy to categorize, their actual orientation may be completely different. Simple labels like "homosexual", "heterosexual", and "bisexual" need not be the only three options available to us.

Take the quiz

So I also got curious because of Miranda. Haha. I guess the results are true in one way or another. Sometimes I just can't stand guys - they're such pigs and jerks. They're also wayyyy dense. On the the other hand, being completely homo seems out of the questions. There's still a strong part in me that squirms whenever I hear about butch stories. It feels like if I'm the lesbian it's okay. But when I see other "serious" lesbians, something in me points something wrong. Sometimes I think that I'm better off with a girl - they understand me wayyy better and I love the fact that I can be so crazy with them. It's so much fun. Butttt I don't know. There's something about guys that makes me feel attracted. Is it their bagong ligo smell? Nah. I like girly with musky tones better. Not the other way around.

To tell you the truth, I prefer going to an all-girls school over co-ed. But I want the girls to act crazy to compensate for the absence of guys. ( But I don't mean that I want lesbian relationships ha.) Haha. Okay, I am not making sense haha. No, I mean I like the girls to be game for anything and barubal. In short, I just love the high school atmosphere. Boys can get so boring. Their hirits are too gentle. Haha. Okay, I am sabaw. I guess you figured that by now already. :P

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

berserk

Ugh. I'm guessing that this sem will really make me burnout. I have tons of readings piled up for Theo and SA, and I have to study Intermediate Jap like there's no tomorrow. Dev psy's fine. Stat is tolerable (for now) and Personality is quite term-y. I think our prof already taught us about a hundered terms in a span of 2 meetings. And waa Jap, I think I'm gonna die. That's because my prof speaks so fast. And oh the vocab. I am DOOMED. Most of the time I have no idea what my sensei is talking about. She just blabbers. :S Well at least she's nice. And I like the fact that I get to learn more for future anime marathons haha.

Oh well, I'm off to bury myself in readings. Come on Ateneo, we should save trees! NO TO READINGS ANYMORE! Okay, just kidding.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

It's been barely a week of class and I'm already wishing for a REALLY REALLY EARLY Xmas break.  I find school...quite boring.  Well not actually - at least I get exercise! I have no break during MWF and I have a CTC to bel 207 class so I've been basically running around campus and getting all sabog when I reach class.  I even took my car at that rate.  It's all my SA prof's fault.  She dismisses us 5 minutes after the first bell so that means I onlyhave about 5 minutes to run and look for my car.  And even after taking the car, I was still late.  The good thing is, my jap prof is very nice and weird anyway.  I like her.  Haha.  She even taught us to sing the te forms of group 1, 2, and 3 verbs using the melody of the song you better not pout you better not shout coz santa claus coming to town.  Utsurte mubununde kuitte guite su~shitte surushite kurushitte iku itte. Okay so maybe you can't get it when you read it but I'll gladly sing it to you when we see each other. Haha.

Anyhoo, I got my Mac Pro the other day and I'm trying to get used to it.  I still don't have a name for it though.  I was thinking between Zenith, idiosyncratic (ok maybe I could alter this a bit), or Bricolage.  I wanted it to have a meaning kasi.  And I also want it to sound good. Whad'ya think?

Thursday, November 13, 2008

It's all about coco

I always delayed it because deep inside I wanted to believe that it wouldn't come true if I didn't think about it. For weeks I've been crying my way to sleep and was rather like a zombie walking around. But I guess I have to accept the facts and just be prepared in one way or another.

I don't expect everybody to get my point or to even sympathize. I know it's not that common to feel this way over such a thing if you haven't experienced it yourself.

I've never experienced something like this before so I never had this kind of depression in the past. I've been blessed to not have any fatal family tragedies so I guess I'm really not braced for anything like this. And besides, he's family to us. Scratch that. He IS family.

It's about Coco. You know, my cute lil black dog who I've had since I was nine. The dog who was constant companion, playmate, and friend. I talked to him often when I had something troubling me, and sure enough he listened. (well I guess he didn't have a choice anyway since he can't talk).

Coco has always been and always be the number one dog in my heart. He's so affectionate and gentle, he could probably look after a baby. He's like a person, he likes to cuddle up and be babied not like other dogs that just sits there and lets you pat their back.

There's been countless of cases wherein my friends who were once dog haters were transformed because of Coco. He's so malambing and cute, even a thief who might break in might fall in love with him. He may be a mutt, but he's the perfect mutt that I love so much. :)

He's been coughing nonstop these past weeks and he's been to the vet for 4 times already. Several tests have been administered and well..the vet just doesn't know what to do with him anymore. The heartworm thing turned out negative and the blood test went out fine. He was also given various antibiotics to cure the cough. But...it seems that nothing's happening. I feel so sorry for him when I hear him cough like there's no tomorrow because I don't want him having a hard time. It's just really heartbreaking because I know I can't do anything about it. His coughs are very hoarse, just like of a human's when they have dry cough and can't spit the phlegm out. It's like when you feel that your lungs are these tunnels that have nothing in them so the air echoes when you cough.

We just went to his new vet yesterday and Dad and Yaya waited in line for 5 hours! The vet is very thorough kasi. And the animals that are brought there are being raised by breeders so I guess this new vet knows a lot. She even attends conventions abroad! Next week, she'll attend this convention on dermatology of cats and dogs. Hmm..interesting. She gave Coco a new set of meds and asked us to bring him again tomorrow. Well at least today he didn't cough that much. I hope that's a good sign. But I'm really nervous about his heart. It was found in th x-ray that his heart is big. It's actually natural when a dog's old and usually gets in the way with the respiratory system. Hence, the coughing. (I've also researched about it in the net, btw. A lot of home remedies too.) At least I know that Coco isn't the only one experiencing this. And a lot of pet owners give advice too. But...that doesn't lessen the pain of knowing that he's having a hard time.

How I wish my dog can just have a lifespan like of humans. It's reality that everything and everyone will die anyway. But it just hurts...

I think I'll just ask Yaya to bring Coco tomorrow even if I don't have classes. I just don't want to break down there. In front of the vet and the other pet owners. I'm trying to be optimistic but I also need to be realistic for my own sake too.

Monday, November 10, 2008

not even at the brink of smiling while running my ass off

For the past few days, my social calendar has been everything but empty. It was barubal night with Iv2 again last Friday.

Me: *enters the room* Hi santi! Uyyy! Wow sobrang coincidence na andito rin iyong iab noh? (may hawak na cake na may malaking candles na 18)

Santi: Hay nako raffy! Hay nako! Sabi ko na nga ba e!

Me: Huh? Hindi, wala lang talaga dumating ako. Wala lang talaga iyong cake na to. Wala rin iyong candles na 18. Ang feeling mo naman. Di to sayo noh.

Cy: Raffy, alam ba ni Santi to?

Raffy: Alam niya, pero di talaga.

Haaa?

Belated Happy Birthday Santi! And I missed you IV2! In fairness, our attendance is getting better! Were we 11 or 14?

Saturday was supposed to be a mall day with the block but I guess my block is just so loving that only 4 of us showed up. Good job guys. I just knew you loved us soooo much. :D

Night time was another night with II2. We originally planned to watch a benefit event for this cancer thing with the Bloomfields at C3 events place in Greenhills but when we arrived, we kinda found it boring and stuffy so we headed for World Music KTV at Promenade. And whadya know? Oliver was there too and even joined in the retarded singing. Haha kudos to you, man.

Andddd...drumroll please................

It was my first day back in school today. It was...rather boring. Crisostomo, who is blacklisted as TERROR is my prof. I hope I don't regret my decision of enlisting in that class just because my mgt class is there.

Same goes with my SA. Well I haven't heard any news about her to label her terror, but it looks like it's just going to be a big snore fest. But at least my jap class looks interesting enough. Most of my classmates are 3rd and fourth years. And I don't know anyone. Well except this one guy who was also my classmate when I took JSP 101 hahaha. Our prof made us go around and introduce ourselves to our classmates and ask random questions...in japanese! That was quite...fun...and confusing. Hmmm hahaha.

I had to run my ass from CTC to Bellarmine! And shizz, I almost slipped. Good thing when I sat down, the prof called my name for attendance. Ooooh haha. I'm seriously considering riding the car.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Now that there's only one more week left for sembreak, I think I'm gonna cry. Last year's sembreak felt so long that I couldn't wait to (okay, so maybe I wasn't that excited) to start the new sem. But now's different. A month went by so fast, it didn't even made me feel...bored. I don't want it to end so soon.

I just finished enlisting in my classes a few hours ago, and eureka! I finally got yoga after all these sems. At least that's a pro. I have a 730 class though and you know how I am with early classes. Oh well, life's like that.

Since all the people at multiply are posting their scheds, here's mine. It's not as if anyone would stalk me in the first place. I'm not that interesting to begin with. Haha

Saturday, November 1, 2008

I'm not bitter

I can't believe it. I love being this way. Nothing to get nostalgic and emo about. Nothing to make me tear up whenever I hear sappy love tunes. Nothing to share when my girlfriends rant about how guys can be such jerks.

I'm officially not in love or even in like with anyone. :)

tourniquet

We went to Makati today with my family, and I watched HSM 3 again! Yeah, I know. You can tell me how baduy I really am. But that's okay, I love being baduy. The choreo is just amazing and the soundtrack's a lot catchier. And it has less of those "unity/together-ish" messages that can be used in grade school presentations. The plot's even a wee bit better, tada!

On a more serious note, I've been having more nightmares these days. What I observed is that I only usually have nightmares in periods. What I mean is - it's either I don't have nightmares or I have nightmares all days in a week. I guess it's just my bad sleeping posture. (It's in psych anyway)

Coco has been sick lately. He has something like a bad case of a cough - he'd usually cough and wheeze during the night. But good thing he's better now compared to a few weeks ago. His cough got so bad that I wasn't able to sleep at night because his coughs lasted all night. I also cried because I felt so scared and sorry for him. I just don't what to do if ever he goes to heaven one of these days. I might just crash. He's been with me since I was 9, and it's just really hard for me to imagine a life without him by my side.

He'd gone to the vet for 3 times already, and each time, they'd give him different kinds of medicines. Just yesterday, I just learned that he had a big heart. Which means, he has to switch to a healthier kind of dog food (it even has lycopene and omega 3) and can't go out anymore. :( Oh well, it comes with age. I still hope he can still stay by my side till I dunno...till I die? Why oh why must dogs have shorter lifespans. :(