Coco forever

You'll always have a special and huge chunk of my heart, Coco.

Coco's in dog heaven now. He's cute a lil angel who will watch over me and my family. St. Francis of Assisi will take care of him.

I won't go into the details anymore, it was too painful. And I don't think I'll ever get over this. I will feel better, yes. But this will always be a painful memory that can make me cry like a baby in 2 seconds.

Coco has been with me for a little over 10 years. 10 wonderful years. He didn't ask much. A simple pat or hug from me was all he asked. He just wanted to be loved. He was the best listener in the world, never interrupting or nagging me for my shortcomings. He wasn't that hardheaded and didn't have that I-don't-care-attitude that most dogs possess. He was gentle and patient even with kids. Even it meant that his limbs had to pulled by naughty kids. Whenever he would stay in my room to sleep, he'd wake me up at 5 or 6 am in the morning by putting his face near mine. The first thing I'd see in the morning would be his moist nose and teary paawa eyes. He'd scratch the door or something else when he wanted to go out or something. When he would sleep outside my room, he'd try his best to put the most surface area of his body near the space under the door to get as much as aircon air as possible. He would also wait for me to wake up - just staying outside my room.

He's join me and my childhood friends when we played. Or more like we kinda imposed him to always be the baby when we would play baby-baby or house. We'd slide him using my fisher-price slide and even gave him makeovers. Pity I wasn't that educated at that time that sometimes I may have hurt him physically. Despite it all, he still tolerated them all and showed affection.

I grew up with him. I got him when I was 9 and treated him as a little brother. I just remembered that during that time, my Mom was supposed to have a mother baby when the doctor told us that she really wasn't pregnant at all. I got him from our relative who lived in Bel-air. I thought my parents weren't serious when they told me I was going to have a puppy. It was too good to be true. For the longest time, I've been asking them for one but they always just gave me a dog stuffed toy. We brought a cage that time but I ended up just letting him lie down in the CR-V back seat with me while he drooled out of motion sickness. He was pretty much brown that time with some black. We then passed by Pet Zone here in Banawe where we bought his food and water dishes. He still used them 'till the other day. Got him the Eukanuba lamb rice dog food for him and gave him a diet for him that consisted of 37 pellets each meal time. He at first stayed at my bathroom where all of our dogs first stayed when they were just puppies. He'd palce his head on the step there and stare at me with the most innocent face ever.

He was quite the feisty yet affectionate one. During his early years, he would play tag with me around the sofa table. It was so much fun. He couldn't catch me or yaya. We'd just go round and round. I'd also give him pancakes for breakfast before. Little did I know then that they were bad for him.

My cousin calls him the Human Dog as he doesn't seem like a 100% dog. He's too smart and showed emotions. He'd freeze whenever he knew he did something wrong and would slowly move his way away from you as if he was slowly disappearing from shame. He was and will always be the most adorable thing in the world. I gave him his heart and he shared his to everyone.

Coco converted a lot of dog-haters. These people can testify that they were once scared of dogs until they met Coco. That or they only love Coco.

Coco has also helped us with our problems. He'd just usually listen and offer his nice fuzzy wuzzy fur for you to touch.

He's been sick a couple of times already and I always get stressed and bawl my eyes out whenever it happens. I keep on imagining on what life would be like without him and I'd break down. Just the thought of it makes me cry whenever, wherever, or whoever I'm with. And well, that just happened yesterday.

It doesn't seem that real at all. It's like all of this is just a really bad dream. But it's not. I've been moping around for days and whenever I feel like I feel better, I just cry again. I feel so empty. It's like a huge chunk of myself is with him. I was with him when I was a kid, when I grew confused as a preteen, rebellious and high-spirited as a teenager, and now as an adult. It's like a part of me went too. He was there when I was all confused and when I decided who I was. He was always there.

I went to prepare myself about a year ago when his cough wouldn't get cured when he got well. Then 6 months ago, he got really sick. I thought I was really gonna lose him. But I didn't. God blessed us with a few more months more. And I just know that he's watching right now. Besides, he's everybody's friend and is the human dog after all. He's my guardian angel now. Someday we'll see each other again and play again. For now, he can run and frolic around the nice fields there where he can pee anywhere, have relaxing warm baths, no fleas, and just a world of love.

This is nothing compared to what you have shared with us, Coco. Thank you so much. I love you. We love you.

I miss you Coco. You'll always be in my heart <3

Rose from the dead

Yes, I am still alive and breathing!

I really don't know what happened to me. Writing or even blogging about random stuff used to be so normal to me to the point of habitual. I think the creative or more like annoying bug in me has worn off. It's quickly dying from this cancer and I am engulfed by this monotonous blahness.

A lot of things have changed over the few months. I myself have changed too. I liked the idea of calling myself headstrong and aggressive. And I didn't show my vulnerability to the public. I loved the feeling that even guys would tell me that they envied my courage.

But hey, I am only human. I break down a couple of times too. Only 2 people can see (and saw) me in that pathetic state. So, you know who you are. People probably deleted the link to this blog already, but hey. The one "you" in the 2 might see this, and well, I'd like to thank you.

I'm happier these days. I learned to loosen up a bit and let guard down even just a little. It's weird - this feeling. I wouldn't call it love. And I wouldn't call it infatuation either. I think it's the feeling of like. I'm not expecting that much though. I'm tired of making the effort and chasing after people who pretend to care.

I signed up for Spain Study Tour (again!) this week and there will be a talk on the 11th. I'm psyched! I'm bracing myself for a summer of self-discovery whilst exploring the beauties of the world. Just thinking about it makes my heart beat faster. I just want to go out and dive into the "out there".

Till next time.

Impromptu is the best way

Changed the layout because the "bandwidth has exceeded" notice is so annoying and I can't fix it anymore. blogskins.com is also crappy. For some reason, I can't download .txt files. Anyway, I think I'll stick to this simple template. I'm moving to tumblr anytime soon anyway.

Today was such the random-est day ever. Sandra came over after deliberating where we should go (STC, ateneo, UP, UST, ABS). We were at a loss when we heard that all the ones mentioned are already fully manned. After texting several people, we just went to Intramuros to do my extra credit work thing for histo. And what do you know, the museum that we went to were also packing! So okay, going there was a 3 in 1. I was able to do my histo hw, volunteer for packing stuff, and a photo trip too!

I shall forever remember the most random day ever, Sandra :D


Bahay Tsinoy. Families.

Packingggg
You told me not to post this, but I couldn't resist. Oops :P

I always like taking pictures like these.

You know me, I always have to get a jump shot picture.

Oh hey there you cute creature. I don't know if it's just me but I find that there's something about you that's so charming.

A bit confused. Having second thoughts. I think I need to pray the novena for this. Lord let me make the right decision.

I'm really scared to the nth power. Never realized how Erik Erikson was so right about trust vs mistrust.

Note to self: Stop viewing JTA pics. It can cause depression.

Looooong weeks ahead. If it weren't for some "detail" I would have become this walking zombie carrying the burden of acads again. But hey ho, my mood's been up these past few weeks because of this particular something or someone. Heehee.

First time in my life, I strolled around Luneta park. Funny how our "tambays" are odd ones. We even had our first movie in Escaler Hall in school.

Btw, Honto homo ja nai :P

The Wowowee pa-epal pose.
The hi-we're-in-the-caf-waving-at-our-photobooth-selves-pose
The tulala whatup pose.

Why it's so nice to have you as a wife. Hope we don't divorce soon. I find so many times texting you about news before anyone else. Funny we were color coordinated that day.

I've been keeping myself busy with A LOT OF ORG STUFF. Read: AIESEC. I'm in the Marketing department right now and it's as demanding as ever. Actually, it's the department that I least liked because it makes me feel all jittery. But hey, it's a challenge and I took it. Despite constant hell weeks, I've dedicated a fraction of my time for this. I can't believe I'm ignoring physio a bit because of this. :| I just hope it's all worth it in the end. But woohoo I (with the help of Mom) booked BPI worth 15k already! That's a start for the 800,000 target.

And btw, I'm a bit stable right now. I think this can be a start of something new (okay let's all sing now). I'm happy and I hope it lasts. I'm not being too serious about it as I'm scared to death. But I'm finally genuinely open to this. *wink wink*

On another note, check out my relationship status in facebook! Hahaha.
I love you forevahhhh Sandra! Hahaha I promise to have our lunch date next week :)

I'm annoyed.

Are you my parent? Sheesh even my parents aren't even that clingy. And ang yabang mo a. What made you think I needed or wanted your help? So kala mo pag tinulungan mo ako, I'll be indebted to you? So you think you have the authority to make excuses for me? I'm not that type of person. I commit to my responsibilities. And I won't let myself get spoiled by someone so low like you. How dare you even present that point. So you can be all concerned and shit about me? That won't work for me.

I refuse to rely on others especially you. You're not even worth relying on. And STOP pretending that we're close and that we're friends. We're not.

You do not own me. Heck, we're not even friends. You're not even worthy of my attention.
--------------------
I can't believe I made the wrong decision last week. Now that you went away, this stupid BUG is bugging me. He's so annoying and not like you, it made me miss you.

I'm dying right now. I'm cramming all the stuff that I need to cram since Sat and Sunday I'll be out. It's the AIESEC amazing race tom, and I'm a station head! Wiii. Good thing our station will be by Thomas Moore's statue so I can study physio or look for journals for Expe. And on Sunday, I'll be in Ateneo by 7 am to 7 pm for our physio production. SHIT man. Our prof doesn't have any school spirit at all. We're gonna miss the game for this huhu. The production thing will be BIG. We have 3 hours to execute everything. Our topic is sleep and we're gonna have our own Sleepsonian Museum. And I'm gonna be a statue. And Queen Amidala at that! Yeah, my Mom has this costume of Queen Amidala because BPI had this huge event before where all of the VPs dressed up in Star Wars costumes. It looks like this. Actually my Mom's dress is pretty accurate! She even has that huge clam thingy.


GAD I am so panicking right now. Our expe prof dropped deadlines on all the same day. LT #3, Experiment draft, and Lab Report #2 all on the 24th. And what's worse, the Lab Report is really like one of those serious journals that makes you fall asleep. Waaa I don't wanna :S Oh yeah, the philo paper is also due on Monday. And the guide questions will only be given on Thursday so I have no choice.

I'm also really really behind in physio. I can't understand a thing anymore. I really really need to quadruple time with this one! And our first LT wasn't exactly pleasant either. Our faci explicitly told us "Guys relax! I also failed the first one. 14 nga score ko e!" Geesh. Way to go to motivate us dude.

I also have 2 more papers due for Japarts, so there. And another huge Chinese Production for Histo. We rented a roofdeck since we're going to apply Chinese customs via Amazing Race. But now we're having problems on how to decorate such a huge venue. My groupmates are also not cooperating. Not attending meetings and making excuses. Hello who has a 22-unit load here?! If they think they're busy, what am I? And sheesh, someone making an excuse on missing out the 3 hr meeting for a consultation in english that can only last 15 minutes?!

I'm going berserk here what to do first.

WAAAAA! And I was looking forward to reading the 3 Haruki Murakami books that I successfully borrowed from the lib! I was ecstatic okay. I couldn't believe all 3 were there at the same time that I even borrowed Kafka on the Shore - a book I already have here at home! =)) I just really love the feel and smell of old books, that's all.

Anyhoo, I havta go now and go multi-task and possibly go crazy. Seeya when I seeya.

With the lack of comprehension of physio concepts regarding the complexities of the brain, I find myself at a complete loss. GAD PHYSIO.

Just awhile ago I had the most exhilarating feeling ever. Ever experienced dumping someone indirectly? BWAHAHA. Well that was well-deserved anyway.

I am back to manually painting props for school again just like in hs. Making a huge brain out of pink japanese paper can be so tedious. And yeah, I'm back to painting illustration boards with crappy textile paint and coarse 20 peso brushes. But it does feel kinda rewarding even if it means a huge backache right after.

I wonder why my blogging has diminished to a meager of about 3-5 posts per month. Unbelievable. I used to post almost every single day or at least once a week. Is it because my life has become less exciting? Or is it because there isn't much exciting things in my life to begin with and it is only now that I realize that?

I just knew it. WHY DON'T I EVER LEARN. I told myself thousands of times already. Then I went back to square one. How stupid. When I thought I was about to cross the line halfway, I just had to look back. Bad bad move.

I’m mad at myself for being so weak, so childish, so gullible. Why must these stupid hormones always take over logic? This is bull.

And now, I am back to pitying at my low self. When I was walking with my head high up, I just wasn’t ready. EVERYTHING was just a façade. As it turns out, I am no different from a an irrational 13 year old who thinks overthrowing her principles can be as easy as eating cake. It may seem like the perfect plan when the circumstances ask for it – yet it eats you up right after. Neglecting what you think you actually believe in just like that will take a toll on you. You lose trust with yourself as you yourself , break your own promises. There’s a incongruency with your so-called principles and your actions.

It’s funny how easy it is to just fall. And how hard was it to climb anyway? Isn’t that more important? All your efforts, dude. GONE just like that just because of a stupid short time pleasure.

Is it human nature to desire this? Then I wish to not be human anymore in this context. I will probably regret saying this to myself in the future but I think I really want to be a closed book already. Too much has been open and shredded. But no worries, all what is already inside will remain. I just won’t open it to anyone else anymore.
I am so disappointed at myself.

[You must want to slap me for being emo, but whatthehell I don’t care right now. I just want to rant and hopefully put myself back to logical reality]

Ugh. Again with this thing. I didn't sleep last night because of you. How pathetic of me.

Well I guess it was exhilirating to have someone think of you and kinda make you feel wanted. But of course, this is only the sugar coating of a very dangeroussss cake. Beneath that there's a lot to learn, dearie.

And I may not be ready for that.

Random ponderings can really make you go down. When all else is happy and cheery, you peak your ponderings to an absolute irrational state. And then when you thought something was really gonna happen, you plummet down.

I feel kinda stupid for not grabbing the opportunity awhile ago. It was what I wanted anyway. But NOOOOO I had to think about my ego and the far future for that matter. But I guess it will do good narin in the long run. I must not get attached okay. :(

Kamusta naman ate nagbloblog na naman ako at bwisit na bwisit na ako sa araw ko. Naramdaman mo na ba na sobrang saya mo? Na "yes finally tapos na lahat ng paghihirap ko! Worth it lahat ng frustrations at effort ko dito!"

O ayan naramdaman ko yan ate kanina. Sobrang nagtatatalon ako tsaka complete with goofy smile pa ang gaga. Ready na ako mag practicum sa BPI sa sembreak at lumipad papuntang Spain sa summer. Sayang-saya ako muntik na ata akong maihi sa sobrang galak. Ok na daw lahat. Forward ko na lang daw iyong e-mail ulit tas ipprint na lang daw. So ito naman inemail na. Tas eto nagreply. Pag-uusapan pa daw ulit. E leche kala ko ok na. Wala naman daw problema tsaka ok na daw lahat. Pero ito may palugit e. Parang sinabi lang sa akin "Ops, di pa pala sweetheart, joke lang iyong kanina. Kaw naman di ka pa mabiro"

Hindi nakakatawa maging laruan okay. Hindi talaga. Sobrang naaawa ako sa sarili ko naiiyak na ako sa inis na rin. Ang tagal tagal na nito parang inisip ko wag na lang ako pumuntang Spain e. Sobrang hassle talaga amputa. Hindi mo lang alam okay. Ilang buwan ako pabalik-balik doon para lang irapan ako at pinamukhang tanga doon. Ilang beses nag 360 degree rotation ung napaka hindi subtle na pag-irap sa akin ng secretary. Pero oks naman siya ngayong linggo, mabait naman. Nakakadyahe lang naman kasi na pinapaasa nila akong nang matagal. Hindi ba nila naisip na sa simpleng "no" nila magugunaw na mga lunggati ko sa mga susunod na taon?! Pinapatagal pa kasi. Lalo akong nahihirapan. Sana sinabi na lang sa mukha ko na hindi pwede kung sa huli hindi naman talaga sila papayag.

Napapagod na talaga ako. Itong buwan na 'to napakakupal. Ngayon ata sa buong buhay ko na nagmura ako ng napakamaraming beses sa isang buwan. Hindi na ata teenage angst tawag doon. Swak lang na nababanas na talaga ako.
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Nandidiri ako sa sarili ko na pumayag akong lumundag sa temptasyon ngayong buwan. Parang timang. Sinabi na ngang "Do not interpret" e! Nandidiri ako na may natitira pang konbensyonal na babae sa loob ko. Tipong malambot at madaling makumbinsi kahit hndi naman kinukumbinsi. Ang hina ko. Kala ko malakas ako. Isang maskara lang pala iyon. Pero ngayon, sa tingin ko naging mas malakas na ulit ako. Buti na lang at hindi tumuloy-tuloy ang temptasyon na iyon.

Kailangan ko nang umalis at mag-aral at isunispende kasi ang pasok kahapon. Dapat 2 ang LT ko kahapon at ngayon lahat napunta na next week. So ayon, papakanerd ako. Babye.

hmm...

Why do I always have to feel down when I feel this strong urge to blog? This week has just been this huge roller coaster ride. I just want to get off and get back to my normal state. But I'm still tempted by those unwarranted highs and adrenaline rushes. But the after-effects are just awful.

I told myself so from the very beginning. My bad for riding this stupid roller coaster to begin with.

I was really disappointed with the 6th HP movie. I was expecting some kind of irony to pop in since I like the 6th book the least. The movie was too slow-paced and dragging to me. Even boring. If I was someone who didn't even read the book, I would have dozed off. The effects are amazing but the plot is just dead oil. Okay so maybe I just really don't like the 6th HP story at all. It seemed rushed. And the title Half-blood prince was kinda forced, don't ya think? It's not like the goblet of fire or sorcerer's stone where the story really has some significant connection with it. I'm sorry, but I just didn't like it.

Nonetheless, I'll forever be a Harry Potter fan. The inner kid in me will always have her Hogwarts robe, tacky wand, and a good memory of the spells. I met Harry, Ron, & Hermione when I was the same age as they were. And we both grew back to reality when we were 17. As much as I can say, Harry Potter will always have a place in my heart. The heart that has now refused to let other people in.

Just like what my crazy and lovable friends from IV-2 say, DUNAT INTERPRET!

Yosh!

Bad day turned into an amazingly good one. It's great how friends can make your mood sky rocket just like that! And youtube is just so useful. Did I mention that I learned calculus, accounting, yoga, and tango in youtube? Yes o yes. And it never fails to make me laugh too.

I Don't Need A Man and Single Ladies on repeat. I crack myself up. Focus, meh dear.

I'm glad that I'm finally attending org stuff. I joined 3 orgs this sem, btw. Aiesec, Aperture society, and Psyche. Just the other day we had a trial photoshoot with Apsoc. Experimented with lighting and I'm excited to learn more.

Coco's okay right now btw. He went home after staying 2 nights at the vet. He has loadsss of medicine to take though and he's in a very strict diet already. I've been keeping myself knowledgeable with liver and kidney failure these days. I feel so helpless, I just want to keep Coco for the longest time possible.

Anyhoo, mostly org GAs occupy my time. But going to the library all the time has been this vice of mine already. Whenever I have a break, I'd go to the lib and look for books to read for leisure. I can't believe myself for not thinking about borrowing books for pleasure before. I have a favorite book shelf already. It's japanese non-fiction. I feel kinda stupid for not thinking about this for the longest time. Instead of buying books, I could have just borrowed. But then again, there are just books that I just want to have. It makes me feel secure and ermmm...a bearer of a secret knowledge. Okay.

I also borrowed the compilation of William Faulkner's short stories. I just loved A Rose for Emily so much, I'm so excited to read more works from him. That story's my fave classical short story. I remember reading it when I was still a high school sophomore.

I think I'm liking what I'm turning into. I'm trying to be more ma-PR and leadership-oriented with orgs. I'm also rubbing elbows with my introverted side when I read books in a weekly basis.

Coco matters

I'm helpless and I think I'm going to break down. The pain is so unimaginable, I just don't see the light at the end of this dark tunnel.

Coco's at the Vet right now. I went home and saw puddles of blood where he laid down. good thing I went home earlier as planned and rushed him to vet. According to the vet, cases like this happens when it's rainy season and the dogs eat or drink some dirty stuff. It may also be a virus where there's bacteria in the intestines. Or it could also be his kidney or liver. Whatever it is, I do HOPE AND PRAY that he gets better. I just don't know what I'll do without him. He's been with me for nearly 10 years and I can say that we grew up together. Thinking back, he joined our family when I was supposed to have a younger brother or sister. But turns out, the doctor just made a mistake of interpreting the pregnancy results of my Mom. So there. He's always been there. And I cry whenever the fact that he is a dog and that his life is only a 7th of a human being. It may seem preposterous for some, but I REALLY LOVE MY DOG COCO. I really have a soft spot when it comes to Coco. And you would miss a lot if you don't know him. He's simply the greatest dog ever. It's as if he's not even human. He can comprehend so much and seems to know when I'm sad. He doesn't demand much. I could just sit quietly in a corner when he would lift his limbs and would "tap" my knees by scratching 'em. Then he would place his head on my lap and would do this so affectionately. Other dogs are only cute. But what I hate about those other dogs is that they don't want to be touched. Coco's different. He wants to be touched and he wants to be with people. He does the darnest things, just thinking about his quirks brings me to smiles.

Many of my friends who used to be afraid of dogs regard Coco as the exception to their rule. Coco's just so adorable everybody is his friend. Well except the cat, he doesn't like the cat. And he's kinda afraid of the cat too. Haha.

He's currently on dextrose right now. I hope all goes well. PLEASE PRAY FOR COCO.

I'm trying my best to be as studious as possible for the past weeks. And I guess I'm about 60% of it. Where the 40% went is probably the testing-the-waters stage.

Watched Transformers yesterday. I reserved seats via sureseats.com and was surprised to see that almost half of the seats were already taken. We got the first screening which was 1130 but was in G4 by 1030 to claim the tickets. The guy in front of me reserved more than 10 tickets! And I thought I was kinda paranoid. The movie was about 3 hours but I never got bored. And holy crap Megan Fox is simply the hottest woman in the planet. I swear, I was scanning her body from head to toe - I felt like I was a guy. But really, how can someone look so divine and just perfect? I just knew it when I first fancied her in Transformers that she'd make it big. I was in absolute disbelief that some people didn't find her that attractive during that time.

And I'm actually wishing that the rumor that Megan Fox being a man is true. So that I'll still have some sort of chance to be Mrs Megan Fox. Or not. Hahaha okay this entry is so weird and maybe disturbing for you. But can you blame me? And I thought Nicole of PCD was hot...

Anyhoo, enough of that. I have a paper and some serious studying to do.

Tribute to Michael Jackson

I played his songs in my ipod when I went to school today.

Rest in peace Michael Jackson. I actually grew fond of you when I first heard your Jackson 5 songs. But of course, I'm a big fan of your songs especially "Thriller" and "The way you make me feel". But who would have known that the person behind the cute lil voice would turn into the King of Pop?

If only you just kept all of your melanin and your nose. Just maybe...things would have been better. But no worries, past is indeed past and you were even in the process of making your big comeback. But then, a thing called cardiac arrest took you away.

We all hope you're in a better place Michael. Maybe it is really time that you get a lot of rest. The media and plainly everyone just wouldn't give you your peace.

PS
Sales will probably rocket - he's one of those people who generates unbelievable value after death.

Love always remains

Let me share to you this favorite song of mine from MGMT. I never get tired of listening to this song.

It reminds me of eye-squinting sunny summer days and some slow mo skip rope scenario. Well that's what comes to mind when I hear it. The melody is actually quite sad but that's why I love it. It dips me into melancholy without being too emo.

The video is not really an official one, just try listening to it.

After having only about 4 hours of sleep and 5 classes that start at 730 am, I am pooped. Good thing my Fridays are very light. I only have one class. But isn't it even more difficult? This might make me lax a bit as opposed if my Wednesdays were to be quite loose.

Suspension due to swine flu: AGS & HS check. Suspension due to bad weather: another AGS & HS check. Well at least I don't have to worry what Deped had to say about forgetting about the sembreak. All my plans will be ruined if the sembreak disappears. My practicum..my euro study tour... :S

Anyhoo, I'm off to do my Experimental Psy paper.

goodbye

I know it's been years already. But I just can't help it. That person was the first.

It's like when that person leaves, a high school memory leaves with that certain someone as well.

I once wished that I could die and be with that someone forever.

I'd definitely give up forever to touch you...

If only that "time" lasted forever.

Laugh if you must, but I'm dead serious. I may say it doesn't matter anymore. But it does. Or not. I'm really not sure. I'm back to my vulnerable and gawky childish self when I deal with this situation.

And when everything is else is broken..

It's starting.

Most of my classes have barely anyone I know or someone I can honestly say's a friend.

It is kind of sad and boring isn't it? It was bound to happen anyway.

But yeah, it's training.

random rants

I know when I'm adjusting okay when I start eating out of enjoyment and not from necessity.

Yum yum choco pie :)

My profs for my 3 subjects are self-quarantined. I rushed to my 730 class - waking up at 5 am and then running through the overpass and getting all wet from the windy rain just to reach the WRONG classroom and then finally realizing that my class was postponed until next week. Swine flu shit.

And oh, from what I've heard; there are numerous confirmed cases for swine flu in the Loyola Schools already. They just don't announce it. So yeah, good job.

You just gotta love the weather that apparently has mood swings. That and the traffic in Katipunan every single day. I am completely at a loss why the traffic got so bad lately. I mean, traffic wasn't exactly pleasant last semester, but hello. Bad traffic is an understatement. 7 lanes going into 2?! What is wrong with the world.

whyyyy

What is it with me and today and everything going haywire. Did I eat something cursed? Or did I step on some magical creature?

Today was just hell okay.

Sometimes it makes me wonder whether I have a mild case of being bipolar.

Sometimes I just havta cry to let some of it make their way down my cheeks. I've developed this habit of doing it in the bathroom and in pitch darkness. There's just something about darkness that makes me feel so alone yet assured that for that brief moment, I am my own universe and that nothing else matters.

It's a mild symptom of existentialism - I'm theorizing.

P.S.
Thank you so much Raffy dearest for today. You made it more bearable. You gave me a smooth start. Except it kinda got bad towards the end. Haha.

I shall crash more often, be ready. :D

thank you :)

You know, simple sweet gestures can really make me all jelly. And I'm not talking about those romantic lines.

Aww, the power of friendship throughout the years will always make me wonder if I could ever find such special people like you girls in my lifetime.

It's really in the teensy details, isn't it?

Now if only college was just a bit more like high school, everything would be more bearable and fun. But oh well, it is training.

YA!

Check out my mega sched! 3 hr breaks on wednesdays I shall conquer you! And oh my, labs will be rather exciting!

Maybe the last minute changing of the schedule of the advance japanese class may be a blessing in disguise after all. Maybe it's a way of telling me that my load is pretty heavy enough for me to socialize with a bunch of kanji characters and japanese sentence constructions.

My Ateneo school year GAME FACE IS ON!

Yosh!

Bora 2009

This year's been definitely different. I think this is a sign that I'm getting old - birthdays aren't as nearly as fun as before. I feel...isolated too in a sense.

Guess what? I spent my bday in school with Mr Bench waiting for 5 hours for the Psy Head to arrive. Oh well. This might as well be my training for you know...

I don't want to sound like a brat but I'm just facing the facts. I may say that's it's no big but I just know that deep inside it really hurts.

OKAY I am not making sense again haha.

Nevertheless, thank you so much for all the sweet people who greeted me, blogged about me, or just texted. :) It really made me smile.

I actually scheduled my Bora trip after my bday because I didn't want to spend it there again like last year. Don't get me wrong Sandra, I super had fun last year! That was definitely the most unique (ok redundant much) bday ever. But it's still different when you're actually in your hometown.

Sooo anyhoo, here are some some snapshots of Bora:


Took the first flight to Caticlan which is 530 in the morning! At least I was able to get some nice shots of the sunrise from the plane. It actually looks brighter in person, I just lowered the exposure to highlight the sun shining against the water.
That's a henna tattoo on my back okay. I really love the design - a fairy butterfly. :) It's not a bra strap, ok? Some people are just plain blind and silly haha.

Sunsets in Bora are just amazing. My legs hurt from trying to get the best shot of it. I was standing for about an hour with my whole Nikon bag. How romantic. Haha


I just had to take a picture of myself. I was alone anyway haha.
Doesn't this remind you of the Beach Boys album cover?
Parasailing was amazing! That's me waving. Ate was too chicken to even let go of the harness. I was already flapping my arms like a bird because I really wanted to know how it feels to fly. It was so surreal - it's definitely going to the highlights of my life folder. We were 200-300 ft above sea level and I could see everything!

Ate: Ah, ganito pala feeling ng kite.


Come night time, we just walked around the beach for about 2 hours. Fire zipping is wicked, isn't it?!

Schedulesssss

Ok. Can I just say that I'm soooooo stressed right now? I've been hearing complaints about everyone's schedule or that aisis has once again failed us in providing the decent quality of the servers.

Yes, I also experienced the internet glitches when I enlisted. I was panicking and cursing 20 minutes before my scheduled enlistment because Firefox and Safari kept telling me that the server timed out. Usually it just says that a random number scheme is being implimented so I can't log in yet. But yesterday, the aisis site just didn't work at all. Well at least until about 10:01 am. It was really funny actually. People were ym-ing, calling, and plainly bombarding me with questions of my schedule and such. Bea's case is even funnier. She's in Pampanga and kept Internet cafe hoping because she thought that the internet was the one that didn't work well. Hahaha. She even called a couple of times.

Fuck the rule that Psy students are only allowed to a maximum of 17 units this semester. Trust me, if you think you experienced hell during enrollment - just look at my case. I had to continually call different departments so that I could enlist in my Psy 102.2 class because there were 4 classes restricted for 2nd yr students only. Only one class was open for all year levels. And guess what? There were 0 slots left. But I just clicked anyway since the other classes had -3 in them so I thought I could just enlist. K. Wrong move. Clicking each subject took forever to load sooooo my other classes which had the profs that I really really REALLY like had 0 slots already by the time I confirmed my enlistment. And I was soooo happy when I saw 4 slots in Dy's class (fyi, he's the no. 1 choice for philo). I thought that when I presses "enlist", I was already enlisted in that class. Okay di pa pala.

I had to repeat the whole enlisting process thrice because the server kept on restarting and my enlisted classes would all be gone. So by the time that I confirmed my enlistment, my chosen classes were full already. I ended up in NONE of the classes that I originally planned weeks before. Hahaha. And so all that research about the profs didn't pay off to well after all.

The psy dept told me to just loadrev so that I could add my Psy 102.2.

K. Not end of my story yet.

I talked to Mr. Calasanz, ADAA about my overloading issue and he said I had to get an endorsement from my department if I wanted to overload 2 units. Since I want to overload 5 units for the double majoring, another 3 for Advanced Japanese, he told me that I had to get the endorsement of my department and the IS department (since that will be my second degree). Sooo that means I have to get the double majoring approved first before applying for the overloading of 5 units. (Trivia: Sir Calasanz is the only Atenean that was given an A+ in the card. And by Fr. Ferriols (a legend) to boot. And that's Philosophy, btw.) I was really anxious about talking to him buttt he seems to be a really nice guy. And, after the interview, I asked him if he knew my uncle. When I said my uncle's name, he burst into cheery laughter! They were close friends back in Lourdes and even in Ateneo. :p He also remembers my Dad rin pala. Sir is funny, he laughs all the time.

Another thing I had to fix over the past few days:
The rescheduling of my practicum so that I could go to the European study tour next summer. I had to talk to the Psy chair. And she approved! Yay! But it's still tentative though. She will still have to discuss how it will be done since the practicum has a class with it. But as far as she's concerned, there's no problem.

So so sum up the things that I had and have to fix:
Calling numerous departments and convincing them to grant my requests
Get permission for the practicum to be taken during the sembreak
Ask the Modern Languages department about the study tour details - some aisis stuff
Get endorsement from department about overloading
Get endorsement from psy dept and IS dept for double majoring
Fix the double majoring before classes start
Loadrev Psy 102.2 and JSP 104

K. That's about it. Yesterday, I just had to stop and just gather my thoughts for 20 minutes because I had so much to do. The procedures and all that. It gets mixed up.

Andddd it looks like I'll have to do most of it on June 8 since I'll be leaving for Bora on the 9th. So yay happy bday to me. Please please Lord. I ask this as a birthday present. Please let all these push through smoothly.

redbox bday

Co-celebrated my birthday with Arra and Aca the other day. And the attendance is impressive too! We were ten in Redbox.

I bet we sing lousier than a dog. (Do dogs even sing? That's the point) Our howls are probably louder and more annoying than your neighbor's mutt. But nobody beats our energy for it.The hats - credits to Tiki. The staff was pretty much surprised to see 'em pointy hats, they even wanted to have some! The food was refillable but leftovers means doublecharged so we pretty much just gobbled half of the plates. I was stuffing rice in my mouth without any ulam - it was hilarious! It was 3 hours of endless screaming, jumping, eating, and savoring the smell of other people's athlete's foot. The carpet reeked! Hahaha.

Nonetheless, I had so much fun. I missed everyone. We should do this more often.

yume

Ola Amigas! Here's an overview on what I experienced in my trip.  I wanna share it :)

We took Qatar Airways because it was the cheapest and surprisingly the best airline so far.  The seats are more spacious and the service is excellent.  Northwest is by far the worst at this.  It's like a chicken coop with the meager space they provide and their staff people are all wrinkly and impatient.

First stop was at Doha after 9 hours.  We had to wait for 4 hours. I fell asleep on the steel chairs and woke up to a nasty stiff neck.  It was another 7 hours to Gatwick, London.
First stop when we arrived after like a 22 hr flight: Tower of London. The crowned jewels are here.  

 We had absolutely no rest when we arrived.  We just changed into a new set of clothes then out the door baybeh! We stayed at Luna & Simone Hotel which is located along Belgrave road.
This is Belgrave Road.  Those white buildings were originally mansions owned by 'em rich people.  Now they've been converted to hotels.  One mansion to one hotel.  They don't exactly look like hotels.  They all look the same.  The only difference is the signs outside stating the name of the said hotel.  Each hotel only has about 10 rooms so just calculate the space.

The iconic Big Ben.  You know what, I was actually star struck when I saw it.  It just popped out of a post card.  Well of course what I took isn't post card material but you know what I mean right? The weather wasn't that good that day so the colors don't pop out much.  I'm too lazy to do any post processing at the moment. Haha



After riding the London eye and going to Trafalgar sqaure, we went to the Bristish Museum.  And would you believe admission's free?  Some other museums are free as well.  But it just really makes me wonder how. The musuems ARE HUGGGGGE AND I MEAN HUGE.  Imagine it as big as the whole STC. 
Took the day tour to Windsor castle (where the Queen lives), Bath, and Stonehenge.  
Just gotta love 'em fuzzy hats.  
Changing of the guards at Buckingham palace.
Carlisle avenue.  It does look like the Upper East side right? 
Bath.  

This is actually the only hot spring in England. It's been there for centuries.  It was discovered by a former king who was ostracized because he had leprosy.  He was cured when he bathed himself here.  

What's weird though, you can't touch the water because it's contaminated or not purified.  People who once lived around Bath would throw pieces of leather where curses were written.

Don't they look like milk carton twins?
Stonehenge.  This place is still a complete mystery.  The only thing they know is that the rocks weigh more than a couple of tons and that some of them came from Wales and some of them came from the shoreline.  Just makes you wonder what kind of miracle happened for them to carry these rocks.

 Portobello, Notting hill.  It's full of vintage stuff and one-of-a-kind knick knacks.

Aren't they adorable? Miniatures are my weakness.


White hills of Dover.  Boat ride from London to the border of France.  
We used the tour bus all throughout the tour.  It's really hard to wake up at 5 am every single day.  Bags out 630 then 730 we leave for the next country.  We usually arrive around 9 pm at the next hotel where we're forced to socialize during dinner then it's bedtime by 11.  EVERY SINGLE DAY.  But it's nice to see these kind of fields and some of the rural scenery.

Say hello to Amsterdam! Pictures aren't actually required in the red district area.  I had to risk the life of my camera for a few shots.  Most of the shops have the word "sex" in it and some of the items are just bizarre and well...disturbing.  I could smell the smoke from marijuana coming out from those get happy cafes.  I just know they're not just tobacco because the smell was just different.  Looking inside, you'll see that people are like zombies.  Hahaha.

Taking pictures of the girls were just impossible! But they look like this:

It still has a different charm, though.  Even though it's a bit scary with all the half-naked walruses batting eyelashes with dirty old men, Amsterdam is still pretty.  They don't have much land so people started living in boat houses.
This was like 8 pm already.  I took this in the bus so that explains that lil green nuisance over there hehe.  The CPL filter can do so much you know.
After Amsterdam, it was Austria for us.  This shot with the tulips was taken at a stopover going there.
This toilet is just amazing! When you flush, that blue thing comes out then squeezes out a cleanser then the toilet seat (yes the seat!) rotates 360 degrees as the blue thing wipes in place while the whole thing rotates! Pretty cool huh? This was actually the toilet that proved its worth for the toilet fee thing.  For the entire trip we spent about 8,000 pesos just for using the freaking toilet! They would charge at least half a euro per go.
One of the stained glass windows in a gothic church in Cologne, Germany.
We took the Rhine cruise where it's like a whole stretch of castles! It was very unique.  This is the only place where you can see many castles left to right.
Glockenspiel at Munich.  
Finally in Austria.  We went to the Swarovski main store and had gelato.  I got quite excited with the alps, not knowing that Switzerland was going to be a lot better!


From Germany, it's off to Venice, Italy.  We went to the Murano house and saw how glass was blown.  Ganun pala yun.  It starts looking like a red molten rock then it forms into something else when they blow through a pipe.
Venice was a bit overrated for me.  It's too crowded and commercialized.  And the ever magical gondola ride?  Bah.  It's still pretty though. 
Rome ranks as one of my favorites.  Every lil corner has its own history to tell.  

Ok, I just had to jump from that rock for a higher jump.  Let's just say I have a lil remembrance on my knee. Hahaha

Florence:  Quaint little town. The home of Michelangelo and Dante Aligheri (we all know we luuuurve the book Inferno) Also the home of the 3rd largest church in the whole world (Duomo) - the biggest is St Peter's (in Rome).

Did ya know that before when they didn't have toilets they would do their business in a bowl (like a salad bowl) then when it's all filled up, they'd throw it out the window without any warning. Just guess how lucky the guy down the street is. Then they made a rule that you had to shout "Attenzione!" thrice before dumping the shit and piss.

Also the place of the best leather goods. Our guide told us that those goods you'd see with "genuine leather" on it aren't genuine at all. The only leather in those things is that lil patch where the genuine leather is written.

It's reallly huge.  Even my wide angle lens won't make it fit.
Leaning tower of Pisa.  So that checks out one of the must-do pictures.
After Italy, it's Switzerland baybeh! This is really my favorite.  Switzerland caught me off guard. I was just really at awe - I fell in love with the place. Everything is just so orderly and clean too! When I die, a vignette of the swiss alps will probably appear as one of the highlights of my life. I'm not exaggerating!

We rode a train to Mt. Pilatus (the steepest). And the view was just so surreal! If only time could freeze...

Climbed up the Esel peak (which is the highest one in Pilatus) and just went to heaven. It was just so pristine and beautiful! Ok do I still need to use superlatives to emphasize the fact that it was just sooooooo beautiful?? 

I wanted to stay long on top but my family wanted to go down because they were freezing alrea

dy. Well actually we were all freezing but who cares hahaha. It was ethereal!

Also went on a cruise on Lucerne lake. The color of the water was very pretty and the view of the landscapes and houses we

re nice. I've always loved lakes. They have this mysterious beauty and unique calmness that just gets me.

Had lunch in Stadkeller - traditional swiss food and cheese fondue. There was also a show with yodeling, alpine horn blowing, broom danci

ng, bell ringing, and singing whilst letting a coin rotate on a milk bowl (it imitates the cow bells).

Also went to the main town where we went to Bucherer, a 5-floor shop full of those big time watch sellers. 

Notre Dame in Paris. I went up the 422 steps alone! It was so tiring I didn't know if I was going up or down anymore.  The steps kept getting narrower by the minute - I thought I was going to miss a step then completely slide down until I reach the bottom.  It was really scary.

This was the view from the top.

Look Miranda! It's PONYO!!!! Ponyo ponyo sakanaaaa haha :P I took this from inside the bus and it was night time so the shutter speed was poor.  So sorry :P This really reminded me of you Miranda.  When I saw this I kept smiling to myself I felt like a retard. :))
Lo and behold, the Eiffel tower at night.  They usually don't open the lights to we were really lucky. This was taken during our cruise along the river Seine.

Lourdes, France. 6 hr train ride from Paris. The weather during the first day wasn't really pleasant so it was really cold. But this place is really perfect for hard on religious people. People here pray and worship all day. Would you imagine joining the procession every single night? Overall, it was a refreshing experience. I wasn't able to take a dip on the spring where Mama Mary was said to appear because it was too cold, but I was able to have my own share by drinking it and taking some home.

We were fortunate enough that when we went, there was some kind of annual european soldier piligrimage thing going on. Seeing all the soldiers from different countries in different uniforms marching and playing various instruments was rather interesting. Not to mention hot teenage soldiers hahaha.

At the palace of Versailles.  At the whole of mirrors.
The gardens are just majestic.
They have loadsss of fountains.  And a whole lot of land to beat.  It was really beautiful - enchanting even.  But most of it was over the top.




Le Eiffel tower.  Yes, I must have my jump shots haha.  One of the elevators was dead so that meant double the waiting time.  I wasn't that disappointed though.  The view from Notre Dame's even better.  At least from there, I could take a picture with the Eiffel tower in it.
Arc de triomphe.  

All in all, I had so much fun! The idea of waking up to a brand new day not entirely knowing where will be going, what will we see, and everything in between.  Laugh if you must but it really opened my eyes to a whole lot of opportunities.  I am ecstatic for the endless possibilities in my future.  Everything may seem quite squabbled and uncertain right now but at least not everything's set on stone.  It's scary and exciting at the same time I get giddy when I think about it.  

I made a wish under the wishing bridge in Paris. I hope all goes well.  And I'll tire myself to death even if that means it's the only way :)